Great news about weight loss surgery.
Seems the risks of banding or stapling, including gastric bypass or RNY, surgery, like I had, are on the decline, with fewer people dying from the surgery.
For me, RNY has been a lifesaver, and was absolutely worth the risk. Perhaps this will help others who have fought obesity their whole lives.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Little beauty god-send
Such a tiny little thing, so inexpensive, yet so vital.
How does any female get along without those little cotton-tipped swabs that have become such a household product that we know them mostly by their brand name - the indispensable Q-tip?
It never fails. I get my foundation on, my eyeliner, my shadow, curl my eyelashes and put on the mascara - and yep, smudges. Icky black smudges under my lower eyelashes, and sometimes on my upper cheek.
I just can't seem to put on mascara without getting a few dots of it somewhere that i don't want it.
And out comes the Q-tip.
Just a quick swipe under the lower eyelashes and all the flaws are gone !
How does any female get along without those little cotton-tipped swabs that have become such a household product that we know them mostly by their brand name - the indispensable Q-tip?
It never fails. I get my foundation on, my eyeliner, my shadow, curl my eyelashes and put on the mascara - and yep, smudges. Icky black smudges under my lower eyelashes, and sometimes on my upper cheek.
I just can't seem to put on mascara without getting a few dots of it somewhere that i don't want it.
And out comes the Q-tip.
Just a quick swipe under the lower eyelashes and all the flaws are gone !
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
What a year it's been ! A weight loss journey
One year ago today - I found myself in tears, waiting for hospital staff to wheel me into surgery for gastric bypass. I was terrified, scared I wouldn't come out of it, terrified of potential complications - afraid that I'd have it and still fail. After all, I'd spent a lifetime on diets that never worked.
So much went through my mind that day.
And I'm so glad I went through with it. My life has changed in ways I couldn't have even anticipated.
I'm about to confess some things here, reveal some details that I'm embarrassed to put in print. But I'm going to, because if it helps motivate one person, it's worth it.
And because they're important to my story. They're part of who I was, and representative of how far I've come, and I'm damned proud of it.
The changes haven't happened as fast as I'd like. And even with weight loss surgery, every pound has been a struggle. But I'm proud of what has happened.
In one year, I have dropped 112 pounds, and about 14 inches in my waist, alone.
I have a couple friends who weigh less than 112 pounds, meaning I've lost the equivalent of a small woman.
And one year ago today I also quit smoking - for good.
I tried and tried before and couldn't. Oh, I'd quit for a few months, but start up again, but never for a year. Unexpectedly, surgery helped me do that, and I'm as proud of that as anything.
As for the weight loss, I dropped from a very tight size 30-32 sometimes to most of the time now in a size 18-20.
If you've never been severely overweight, you'll never understand this.
I wasn't even just severely overweight. I was morbidly obese and on a fast track to death. I was on a fast track to death.
I'm still considered obese, as I've still got a long ways to go.
But now I can bend over to tie my shoes.
My seat belt in the car has lots of slack now - no more being stretched taut across my body with no room to spare.
I can touch my toes without bending my knees! I discovered that in the gym one day when I needed to stretch after a particularly tough set of reps, and started crying right then and there, for joy!
I can get down on the floor and get back up again without having to crawl over to a sturdy piece of furniture for support as I hoist my mass up.
My belly once stuck out farther than my breasts. No more. Well, not when I have a bra on, anyway.
I discovered what it's like to have a bra that actually fits right.
A ring that once was tight on my pinkie now fits my thumb.
I can go into many stores and find clothes that fit - no longer relegated to shopping in one or two specialty stores where the prices are about three times what smaller women would have to pay for their clothes.
The arms on chairs no longer dig into my hips, because I fit into them now.
I'll never forget the day that after a gathering with friends, one of them said, "Don't take offense at this, but I was looking at you today and I noticed that you actually fit in the chair now."
That was shocking. But I immediately got the vision we've all seen of people sitting in a folding chair, their girth extending out way past the width of the seat.
I took no offense, instead finding it something to rejoice in!
I normally love to have my picture taken now.
I can go to the gym and work out with weights for an hour and still have the energy to do 30 minutes of cardio.
I go somewhere with friends, and I have to go to the bathroom and walk through the restaurant and see people looking at me and no longer think they're looking at me cause I'm so fat, and wanting to say, "What do you think you're staring at? Never seen a fat woman before?"
Now I think, "That's right, look at me!"
It's not because I'm gorgeous, because I'm not. I'm not thin, by any means. I have so far to go. But I feel good about myself now and I think it shows.
I've noticed I've developed an affinity for bracelets and rings and big earrings - accessorizing like I never really did before. First of all, things fit now that didn't when I was 366 pounds. But i didn't want all that attention to me either, so I dressed down.
It's been tough. There's are still many times that after eating I don't feel well. My belly hurts, or I'm nauseous. And it's frustrating as hell when that happens after just a few bites.
You see, gastric bypass reduced the size of my stomach permanently.
And there are some kinds of foods now that I just can't eat. And often food will make me a bit nauseous.
Then there's the fact I'm a food addict. And there are emotional issues attached to food.
Last Thanksgiving was one heck of a realization for me.
I had cooked for two days, and had 18 people over to the house to share in the dinner.
I stood back and let everyone else go through the line, and realized that previously, I would have been at the front of that line, afraid that if I was at the end of the line that by the time I got to the front that all the good food would be gone. I don't know why I have that fear, or why it so affected me when that kind of thing happened. But I realized on Thanksgiving just how prevalent those issues had been in my past.
I had a fear of not having enough food.
I still have some of that to overcome. But on Thanksgiving I could stand back and let everyone else go first. I knew there would be enough for me, because I knew that I only needed a few bites to be satisfied.
But yeah, it was frustrating to want to eat some of everything that was there. It was frustrating to see all my friends eating huge platters of food, while I came out with a little salad plate, and couldn't eat half of what was there.
In fact, they laughed at me when they saw my plate.
But that's ok. I'm doing what I need to do for me.
Still, I'm a food addict. Sometimes I may not eat much at any given meal, but I graze or snack too much and hate myself for doing it and then, being frustrated with myself, eat even more.
But now i know what I'm doing and i try to stop.
I take it one day at a time, and keep plugging along.
I've still got about 80 pounds to lose, and lots of hard work to get there.
Every pound has been a struggle. It requires getting moving, getting to the gym, getting out and washing the car, anything physical, and being conscious of what I eat.
And still some days, no matter how hard I try, it seems that scale doesn't move.
But my goal isn't about any number on a scale. And I don't care if I'm ever thin or not.
Ok, ok. Truth is I really, really want to get somewhere under 200 pounds and stay there. For someone who can't remember ever being under 200 pounds from the time I was a pre-teen, that would be one heck of an accomplishment.
Shoot, I don't have any idea what my ideal weight should be, because I've never been at my ideal weight - ever. I haven't even come close.
But my ultimate goal is to get off the insulin.
I'm completely off one type of insulin, and take less than a third of the other type. That's amazing progress. And I'm needing less and less the more I lose and the more I work out.
My blood sugars are almost always where I want them to be.
Two years ago, I was shoving anything and everything, including high-sugar foods, into my mouth, and then trying to compensate with insulin, but never testing to know where my blood sugars were. It was a game of Russian Roulette, and i was killing myself.
About two and a half years ago I had some pre-op blood work, in preparation for surgery for carpal tunnel and a pinched ulnar nerve. The hospital called and they were threatening to cancel my surgery because my blood sugar level was nearly 500 - astronomically high.
I got it down within a week to an acceptable level, and was able to have the surgery. But it was a wake-up call.
Still, it was a constant struggle. Being as massive as I was, I required massive doses of insulin.
A year ago i feared I was going to lose a leg to poor circulation. My feet and legs were so swollen I could hardly find shoes to fit - and even those hurt after a couple hours.
No more.
I still have wide feet, but now love to shoe shop.
Why the rambling? Why is this such a big deal to me?
Because all my life I've been obese. Even as a small child my family worried about how big i was.
My mother taught piano. At 12 years old we were having a recital, and I needed a dress for it. We had to get a size 16. At 12 years old, that's awful.
Over the course of my life, I just continued to gain weight.
About the time my mom died when I was 15, I got back to a size 16. But I haven't seen it since.
Right now, at 254 pounds, I am smaller than I was at 17 years old. (God, i hate posting that number. It's embarrassing, but there it is. It's part of my self therapy to admit it.)
And at some point this year, I will be smaller than I was when I was 12 years old.
Lord, that's just hard to fathom, even now as I write it.
So, if anyone is reading this, and contemplating weight loss surgery, particularly RNY, or gastric bypass surgery, I hope this gives you some motivation and encouragement.
For me, it has been life-changing.
So, (lifting a glass) Happy Surgiversary to me. Here's to an amazing year, and to an even better year ahead !
So much went through my mind that day.
And I'm so glad I went through with it. My life has changed in ways I couldn't have even anticipated.
I'm about to confess some things here, reveal some details that I'm embarrassed to put in print. But I'm going to, because if it helps motivate one person, it's worth it.
And because they're important to my story. They're part of who I was, and representative of how far I've come, and I'm damned proud of it.
The changes haven't happened as fast as I'd like. And even with weight loss surgery, every pound has been a struggle. But I'm proud of what has happened.
In one year, I have dropped 112 pounds, and about 14 inches in my waist, alone.
I have a couple friends who weigh less than 112 pounds, meaning I've lost the equivalent of a small woman.
And one year ago today I also quit smoking - for good.
I tried and tried before and couldn't. Oh, I'd quit for a few months, but start up again, but never for a year. Unexpectedly, surgery helped me do that, and I'm as proud of that as anything.
As for the weight loss, I dropped from a very tight size 30-32 sometimes to most of the time now in a size 18-20.
If you've never been severely overweight, you'll never understand this.
I wasn't even just severely overweight. I was morbidly obese and on a fast track to death. I was on a fast track to death.
I'm still considered obese, as I've still got a long ways to go.
But now I can bend over to tie my shoes.
My seat belt in the car has lots of slack now - no more being stretched taut across my body with no room to spare.
I can touch my toes without bending my knees! I discovered that in the gym one day when I needed to stretch after a particularly tough set of reps, and started crying right then and there, for joy!
I can get down on the floor and get back up again without having to crawl over to a sturdy piece of furniture for support as I hoist my mass up.
My belly once stuck out farther than my breasts. No more. Well, not when I have a bra on, anyway.
I discovered what it's like to have a bra that actually fits right.
A ring that once was tight on my pinkie now fits my thumb.
I can go into many stores and find clothes that fit - no longer relegated to shopping in one or two specialty stores where the prices are about three times what smaller women would have to pay for their clothes.
The arms on chairs no longer dig into my hips, because I fit into them now.
I'll never forget the day that after a gathering with friends, one of them said, "Don't take offense at this, but I was looking at you today and I noticed that you actually fit in the chair now."
That was shocking. But I immediately got the vision we've all seen of people sitting in a folding chair, their girth extending out way past the width of the seat.
I took no offense, instead finding it something to rejoice in!
I normally love to have my picture taken now.
I can go to the gym and work out with weights for an hour and still have the energy to do 30 minutes of cardio.
I go somewhere with friends, and I have to go to the bathroom and walk through the restaurant and see people looking at me and no longer think they're looking at me cause I'm so fat, and wanting to say, "What do you think you're staring at? Never seen a fat woman before?"
Now I think, "That's right, look at me!"
It's not because I'm gorgeous, because I'm not. I'm not thin, by any means. I have so far to go. But I feel good about myself now and I think it shows.
I've noticed I've developed an affinity for bracelets and rings and big earrings - accessorizing like I never really did before. First of all, things fit now that didn't when I was 366 pounds. But i didn't want all that attention to me either, so I dressed down.
It's been tough. There's are still many times that after eating I don't feel well. My belly hurts, or I'm nauseous. And it's frustrating as hell when that happens after just a few bites.
You see, gastric bypass reduced the size of my stomach permanently.
And there are some kinds of foods now that I just can't eat. And often food will make me a bit nauseous.
Then there's the fact I'm a food addict. And there are emotional issues attached to food.
Last Thanksgiving was one heck of a realization for me.
I had cooked for two days, and had 18 people over to the house to share in the dinner.
I stood back and let everyone else go through the line, and realized that previously, I would have been at the front of that line, afraid that if I was at the end of the line that by the time I got to the front that all the good food would be gone. I don't know why I have that fear, or why it so affected me when that kind of thing happened. But I realized on Thanksgiving just how prevalent those issues had been in my past.
I had a fear of not having enough food.
I still have some of that to overcome. But on Thanksgiving I could stand back and let everyone else go first. I knew there would be enough for me, because I knew that I only needed a few bites to be satisfied.
But yeah, it was frustrating to want to eat some of everything that was there. It was frustrating to see all my friends eating huge platters of food, while I came out with a little salad plate, and couldn't eat half of what was there.
In fact, they laughed at me when they saw my plate.
But that's ok. I'm doing what I need to do for me.
Still, I'm a food addict. Sometimes I may not eat much at any given meal, but I graze or snack too much and hate myself for doing it and then, being frustrated with myself, eat even more.
But now i know what I'm doing and i try to stop.
I take it one day at a time, and keep plugging along.
I've still got about 80 pounds to lose, and lots of hard work to get there.
Every pound has been a struggle. It requires getting moving, getting to the gym, getting out and washing the car, anything physical, and being conscious of what I eat.
And still some days, no matter how hard I try, it seems that scale doesn't move.
But my goal isn't about any number on a scale. And I don't care if I'm ever thin or not.
Ok, ok. Truth is I really, really want to get somewhere under 200 pounds and stay there. For someone who can't remember ever being under 200 pounds from the time I was a pre-teen, that would be one heck of an accomplishment.
Shoot, I don't have any idea what my ideal weight should be, because I've never been at my ideal weight - ever. I haven't even come close.
But my ultimate goal is to get off the insulin.
I'm completely off one type of insulin, and take less than a third of the other type. That's amazing progress. And I'm needing less and less the more I lose and the more I work out.
My blood sugars are almost always where I want them to be.
Two years ago, I was shoving anything and everything, including high-sugar foods, into my mouth, and then trying to compensate with insulin, but never testing to know where my blood sugars were. It was a game of Russian Roulette, and i was killing myself.
About two and a half years ago I had some pre-op blood work, in preparation for surgery for carpal tunnel and a pinched ulnar nerve. The hospital called and they were threatening to cancel my surgery because my blood sugar level was nearly 500 - astronomically high.
I got it down within a week to an acceptable level, and was able to have the surgery. But it was a wake-up call.
Still, it was a constant struggle. Being as massive as I was, I required massive doses of insulin.
A year ago i feared I was going to lose a leg to poor circulation. My feet and legs were so swollen I could hardly find shoes to fit - and even those hurt after a couple hours.
No more.
I still have wide feet, but now love to shoe shop.
Why the rambling? Why is this such a big deal to me?
Because all my life I've been obese. Even as a small child my family worried about how big i was.
My mother taught piano. At 12 years old we were having a recital, and I needed a dress for it. We had to get a size 16. At 12 years old, that's awful.
Over the course of my life, I just continued to gain weight.
About the time my mom died when I was 15, I got back to a size 16. But I haven't seen it since.
Right now, at 254 pounds, I am smaller than I was at 17 years old. (God, i hate posting that number. It's embarrassing, but there it is. It's part of my self therapy to admit it.)
And at some point this year, I will be smaller than I was when I was 12 years old.
Lord, that's just hard to fathom, even now as I write it.
So, if anyone is reading this, and contemplating weight loss surgery, particularly RNY, or gastric bypass surgery, I hope this gives you some motivation and encouragement.
For me, it has been life-changing.
So, (lifting a glass) Happy Surgiversary to me. Here's to an amazing year, and to an even better year ahead !
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Fort Worth police raid turns brutal
I think all of us should be outraged by this, regardless of our orientation.
Following, please find the press release on the candlelight vigil. Below that, you will find a list of other events planned to support this young man, or to protest this police violence.
The North Texas LGBTA Community will gather Wed. July 1st, 2009 at the Rainbow Lounge at 8:30pm in honor of Chad Gibson, the young man hospitalized by FWPD in the June 28th police raid at the same location. Pastor Carol West of Celebration Community Church will be on hand as well as many of the people who were there during the raid. We must unite to show the world that what happens to one of us, happens to all of us. We must unite to show Fort Worth that this type of violence against any person will not be tolerated. But, most importantly we must unite to show Chad that his community is standing by his side.
*****
PRESS RELEASE
Candlelight Vigil for Victim of Anti-Gay Police Violence
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Date 06-30-09
Media Contact
Blake Wilkinson 214-679-6321
e-mail: lgbtliberaction@gmail.com
www.queerliberaction.org
Dallas-- Queer Liberaction is organizing a Candlelight Vigil for Chad Gibson, 26, the victim of police violence last weekend at the Rainbow Lounge in Ft. Worth.
The Vigil will commence around 8:30 PM Wednesday July 1, 2009 at the Rainbow Lounge at 651 South Jennings Avenue. The large North Texas Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transgender (GLBT) community, and their Queer Allies is outraged by the actions of the Ft. Worth Police Departments tactics in raiding the bar and arresting its customers. The GLBT community is especially concerned over the condition of Mr. Gibson who, according to eyewitnesses, sustained sever injuries to the head by Ft. Worth Police officers as they attempted to arrest and handcuff him. According to family members of Mr. Gibson, if his brain swelling and bleeding continues, surgery may be necessary.
"The GLBT community, of course, will continue to search for complete answers to the many questions still remaining from the Rainbow Lounge Raid. But, tomorrow evening, Wed. July 1, 2009, at 8:30 PM, our thoughts and prayers will be focused on Chad Gibson and his family. We will demonstrate our deep concern and full support for Chad and his family in a time honored, visual way with a Candlelight Vigil" says Blake Wilkinson, founder of Dallas based Queer Liberaction.
Other events that have been posted:
9 p.m. Friday, July 3?? (no date was shown in what I've seen, so am assuming it's this friday. Will post more when I can confirm this) Benefit Show for Chad Gibson, Rainbow Lounge
4 p.m. Sunday, July 5, Milk Box forum will be held in Sundance Square in Fort Worth. This is a soap box where anyone can speak, named in honor of Harvey Milk.
7 p.m. Sunday, July 12th, at Tarrant County Courthouse, where an answer is expected from the pending investigation on the raid (NOTE: I have seen this as being the Courthouse, and another one that said the Tarrant County Convention Center. When I have clarification, I will post again.)
7 p.m. Tuesday, July 14: Fort Worth City Council Meeting, Fort Worth Municipal Building, 1000 Throckmorton St.. Fort Worth
Following, please find the press release on the candlelight vigil. Below that, you will find a list of other events planned to support this young man, or to protest this police violence.
The North Texas LGBTA Community will gather Wed. July 1st, 2009 at the Rainbow Lounge at 8:30pm in honor of Chad Gibson, the young man hospitalized by FWPD in the June 28th police raid at the same location. Pastor Carol West of Celebration Community Church will be on hand as well as many of the people who were there during the raid. We must unite to show the world that what happens to one of us, happens to all of us. We must unite to show Fort Worth that this type of violence against any person will not be tolerated. But, most importantly we must unite to show Chad that his community is standing by his side.
*****
PRESS RELEASE
Candlelight Vigil for Victim of Anti-Gay Police Violence
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Date 06-30-09
Media Contact
Blake Wilkinson 214-679-6321
e-mail: lgbtliberaction@gmail.com
www.queerliberaction.org
Dallas-- Queer Liberaction is organizing a Candlelight Vigil for Chad Gibson, 26, the victim of police violence last weekend at the Rainbow Lounge in Ft. Worth.
The Vigil will commence around 8:30 PM Wednesday July 1, 2009 at the Rainbow Lounge at 651 South Jennings Avenue. The large North Texas Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transgender (GLBT) community, and their Queer Allies is outraged by the actions of the Ft. Worth Police Departments tactics in raiding the bar and arresting its customers. The GLBT community is especially concerned over the condition of Mr. Gibson who, according to eyewitnesses, sustained sever injuries to the head by Ft. Worth Police officers as they attempted to arrest and handcuff him. According to family members of Mr. Gibson, if his brain swelling and bleeding continues, surgery may be necessary.
"The GLBT community, of course, will continue to search for complete answers to the many questions still remaining from the Rainbow Lounge Raid. But, tomorrow evening, Wed. July 1, 2009, at 8:30 PM, our thoughts and prayers will be focused on Chad Gibson and his family. We will demonstrate our deep concern and full support for Chad and his family in a time honored, visual way with a Candlelight Vigil" says Blake Wilkinson, founder of Dallas based Queer Liberaction.
Other events that have been posted:
9 p.m. Friday, July 3?? (no date was shown in what I've seen, so am assuming it's this friday. Will post more when I can confirm this) Benefit Show for Chad Gibson, Rainbow Lounge
4 p.m. Sunday, July 5, Milk Box forum will be held in Sundance Square in Fort Worth. This is a soap box where anyone can speak, named in honor of Harvey Milk.
7 p.m. Sunday, July 12th, at Tarrant County Courthouse, where an answer is expected from the pending investigation on the raid (NOTE: I have seen this as being the Courthouse, and another one that said the Tarrant County Convention Center. When I have clarification, I will post again.)
7 p.m. Tuesday, July 14: Fort Worth City Council Meeting, Fort Worth Municipal Building, 1000 Throckmorton St.. Fort Worth
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Stepping it up?
Ok, so I'm in this mode of really wanting to see the weight start coming back off, so I'm trying new things.
I figure - hell, I can touch my toes now. I bet I can do step aerobics!
hahahahahahaha.
It must have been funny watching me try to keep up in that class.
I'm just going to blame it on losing my sense of balance and my center of gravity since losing so much weight.
That happens, right?
That just has to be the reason I stumbled around in that class, practically tripping over myself, not to mention unable to keep up with the pace or remember the routine.
But so what. I did it anyway. I took that class and I kept moving for 30 minutes even when I wasn't moving the same direction anyone else was.
I figure - hell, I can touch my toes now. I bet I can do step aerobics!
hahahahahahaha.
It must have been funny watching me try to keep up in that class.
I'm just going to blame it on losing my sense of balance and my center of gravity since losing so much weight.
That happens, right?
That just has to be the reason I stumbled around in that class, practically tripping over myself, not to mention unable to keep up with the pace or remember the routine.
But so what. I did it anyway. I took that class and I kept moving for 30 minutes even when I wasn't moving the same direction anyone else was.
Toe-curling revelation
So yesterday I went to the gym to do a third and final workout with the trainer, who was going to teach me more resistance exercises, then give me a recommendation for what to do when I'm there. You know, put me on a Program.
He didn't show.
Well, he did, but an hour later.
But that's not the point.
I was doing a step routine he had told me earlier to do.
I did twice as many as he suggested, needing a hard workout. After that, though, i felt a need to stretch my lower back and legs. So i just bent over from the waist and reached for the ground.
Whoa.
Wait a minute. What was that?
That was my fingers, touching my toes. Easily. Did i really do that with my legs straight, no bending the knees.
Yep. I did.
No way! So I did it again.
And I just couldn't help myself. The tears started flowing. I felt like an idiot crying there in the gym, in front of all the buff guys with massive amounts of muscle hefting massive amounts of weight.
So why the tears? Because I could never do that before, not even in junior high. Not even at 11 and 12 years old. I was so overweight, so obese, and so out of shape that that just didn't happen.
And I couldn't help but flash back to those days in gym class in 7th and 8th grades when we had to do stretching exercises every day, and I was so embarrassed because I couldn't even come close to touching my toes, standing up, or even bending over while sitting on the floor, legs out in front of me.
And now, thanks to weight loss surgery, gastric bypass (RNY), specifically, and losing more than 100 pounds, I can touch my toes!
Now that's what we call a woo-hoo moment!
He didn't show.
Well, he did, but an hour later.
But that's not the point.
I was doing a step routine he had told me earlier to do.
I did twice as many as he suggested, needing a hard workout. After that, though, i felt a need to stretch my lower back and legs. So i just bent over from the waist and reached for the ground.
Whoa.
Wait a minute. What was that?
That was my fingers, touching my toes. Easily. Did i really do that with my legs straight, no bending the knees.
Yep. I did.
No way! So I did it again.
And I just couldn't help myself. The tears started flowing. I felt like an idiot crying there in the gym, in front of all the buff guys with massive amounts of muscle hefting massive amounts of weight.
So why the tears? Because I could never do that before, not even in junior high. Not even at 11 and 12 years old. I was so overweight, so obese, and so out of shape that that just didn't happen.
And I couldn't help but flash back to those days in gym class in 7th and 8th grades when we had to do stretching exercises every day, and I was so embarrassed because I couldn't even come close to touching my toes, standing up, or even bending over while sitting on the floor, legs out in front of me.
And now, thanks to weight loss surgery, gastric bypass (RNY), specifically, and losing more than 100 pounds, I can touch my toes!
Now that's what we call a woo-hoo moment!
Monday, June 22, 2009
New Career
Well I'm headed out this morning to talk with some folks at a local school about perhaps training in radiology. I'm also considering a career change to nursing.
Seems there isn't much available out there for us former journalists, and there are more and more of us out there every day competing for those jobs, with so many newspapers closing, or laying off staff.
Seems there isn't much available out there for us former journalists, and there are more and more of us out there every day competing for those jobs, with so many newspapers closing, or laying off staff.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Little Woo Hoo Moments
A friend has a special event coming up and needed some clothes for it. So she came over yesterday and tried on my leather skirt and leather waist cincher. It still blows me away that I can look at her and think.... Wow, am I really almost her size?
See, that's a good thing. I consider her normal sized - not thin, but not fat.
I've never been normal sized. And I know I'm still not.
But here's the thing. The skirt almost, but not quite, zips up on me. It was just a bit loose on her. So we're not the same size, but we're close.
And that's hard for me to grasp.
After losing more than 100 pounds, I still have this tendency to see myself the way I was before. Is that because back then I didn't really see myself as I was? I think that's possible. The pre-weight loss surgery photos mortified me. I had no idea I looked that bad.
But now, I also have a had time conceptualizing myself.
I still look at others, or stand next to them, and think of myself as huge in comparison.
I still look at clothes on the rack or hanger and think, "There's no way that's going to fit on my fat ass."
Then they DO !
And yeah, I can say fat ass. No big deal. I think every woman has thought of themselves at some point as having a fat ass. I KNOW i had one, and still do.
I was obese since childhood.
But that is changing.
And that led to another "woo hoo" moment the other day.
I was attending a freelance writing seminar by SPJ, in one of those auditorium-style classrooms at UTA.
I though, "Uh oh, I'll never get this little desk over my lap."
When I was 17 and attending TCU, I could sit in those auditorium style seats, but that little desk would not sit flat over my belly. There just was too much belly in that seat.
So when I attendede the recent seminar, memories of college came flooding back, and I sat down with a bit of dread.
I needed the desktop to take notes. So I reached down, and pulled it up into place, hoping no one would notice when it didn't fit right.
But it did. It laid flat. And there was room to spare betwee it and me.
And I couldn't help but grin, because I knew that at 43 I was smaller than I was at 17, but this was the solid, hard proof of that.
Ok, so it's kind of embarrassing that I was that big at 17. But what an accomplishment now.
And today, I worked out with a trainer at the gym. He's going to put me on a program he swears will help me really kick off the weight loss that has now slowed down quite a bit.
I still have a long ways to go, even after losing 107 pounds.
That said, if anyone out there is curious about weight loss surgery, particularly the RNY (gastric bypass), feel free to ask me about it.
Between that, and getting regular exercise in, my life has changed dramatically.
And I'm happy to share the good, the bad and the ugly about it.
See, that's a good thing. I consider her normal sized - not thin, but not fat.
I've never been normal sized. And I know I'm still not.
But here's the thing. The skirt almost, but not quite, zips up on me. It was just a bit loose on her. So we're not the same size, but we're close.
And that's hard for me to grasp.
After losing more than 100 pounds, I still have this tendency to see myself the way I was before. Is that because back then I didn't really see myself as I was? I think that's possible. The pre-weight loss surgery photos mortified me. I had no idea I looked that bad.
But now, I also have a had time conceptualizing myself.
I still look at others, or stand next to them, and think of myself as huge in comparison.
I still look at clothes on the rack or hanger and think, "There's no way that's going to fit on my fat ass."
Then they DO !
And yeah, I can say fat ass. No big deal. I think every woman has thought of themselves at some point as having a fat ass. I KNOW i had one, and still do.
I was obese since childhood.
But that is changing.
And that led to another "woo hoo" moment the other day.
I was attending a freelance writing seminar by SPJ, in one of those auditorium-style classrooms at UTA.
I though, "Uh oh, I'll never get this little desk over my lap."
When I was 17 and attending TCU, I could sit in those auditorium style seats, but that little desk would not sit flat over my belly. There just was too much belly in that seat.
So when I attendede the recent seminar, memories of college came flooding back, and I sat down with a bit of dread.
I needed the desktop to take notes. So I reached down, and pulled it up into place, hoping no one would notice when it didn't fit right.
But it did. It laid flat. And there was room to spare betwee it and me.
And I couldn't help but grin, because I knew that at 43 I was smaller than I was at 17, but this was the solid, hard proof of that.
Ok, so it's kind of embarrassing that I was that big at 17. But what an accomplishment now.
And today, I worked out with a trainer at the gym. He's going to put me on a program he swears will help me really kick off the weight loss that has now slowed down quite a bit.
I still have a long ways to go, even after losing 107 pounds.
That said, if anyone out there is curious about weight loss surgery, particularly the RNY (gastric bypass), feel free to ask me about it.
Between that, and getting regular exercise in, my life has changed dramatically.
And I'm happy to share the good, the bad and the ugly about it.
Weight Loss Surgery Thins Bones?
Interesting article from the Associated Press today that says weight loss surgery may cause bones to thin and become brittle.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/06/15/health/main5090808.shtml
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/06/15/health/main5090808.shtml
Monday, June 15, 2009
Ewwwwwwwww.
Something about Collin County has always bugged me. I thought it was just the pretentiousness. Now I know what it is.
I learned today that Plano is the home of the Cockroach Hall of Fame.
Yep. That's really something to celebrate all right.
Me thinks that's one museum i won't be driving across the Metroplex for.
http://www.pestshop.com/cockroaches.html
I learned today that Plano is the home of the Cockroach Hall of Fame.
Yep. That's really something to celebrate all right.
Me thinks that's one museum i won't be driving across the Metroplex for.
http://www.pestshop.com/cockroaches.html
Eating Healthier
The other day, I got back to the gym after several weeks away, and went with my best friend. Afterwards, we went to Rockfish Seafood, where I had the most wonderful seafood soup. Today, I made my own version.
NOTE: This makes a huge pot, for dinner for 3, and lots of left overs to freeze in individual meals.
Here's the rough recipe.
Enough margarine to coat the bottom of a large stock pot
1 large onion, chopped fairly large
3 stalks celery, chopped fairly large
1 bag of baby carrots, each halved
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can chickpeas (garbanzos), drained.
1 pound of uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 bag of small scallops
About 5 pounds of potatoes, peeled and cut into large bite size pieces
one pound of catfish nuggets, but into large bite-size pieces
various cod, whiting, any fish to taste, about 1 pound.
Salt and black pepper to taste
about 2 tbsp italian seasoning, about 1/4 cup of dried parsley
About 2 quarts of water
Melt butter in stockpot, add chopped onion and celery, cook until tender.
Add water, canned tomatoes, canned chickpeas (garbanzos) carrots and the seasonings. Bring to a boil and cook about 10 minutes on medium high.
Add the potatoes, shrimp, scallops and fish, turn burner to lowest setting, and let simmer for about 1 hour.
Turn burner off and let sit for the rest of the day.
NOTE: This makes a huge pot, for dinner for 3, and lots of left overs to freeze in individual meals.
Here's the rough recipe.
Enough margarine to coat the bottom of a large stock pot
1 large onion, chopped fairly large
3 stalks celery, chopped fairly large
1 bag of baby carrots, each halved
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can chickpeas (garbanzos), drained.
1 pound of uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 bag of small scallops
About 5 pounds of potatoes, peeled and cut into large bite size pieces
one pound of catfish nuggets, but into large bite-size pieces
various cod, whiting, any fish to taste, about 1 pound.
Salt and black pepper to taste
about 2 tbsp italian seasoning, about 1/4 cup of dried parsley
About 2 quarts of water
Melt butter in stockpot, add chopped onion and celery, cook until tender.
Add water, canned tomatoes, canned chickpeas (garbanzos) carrots and the seasonings. Bring to a boil and cook about 10 minutes on medium high.
Add the potatoes, shrimp, scallops and fish, turn burner to lowest setting, and let simmer for about 1 hour.
Turn burner off and let sit for the rest of the day.
Why am I blogging?
Because I seem to have a lot to say, and a lot of time on my hands these days.
I am Stephanie Sandoval, reporter for The Dallas Morning News for more than 13 years, until I was laid off in April.
There, I covered primarily suburban cities, most notably Farmers Branch, Carrollton and Grand Prairie, though I also covered a wide range of other stories and issues.
Sadly, newspapers are on a downward spiral, and many of my colleagues around the country are also struggling to find ways to put our amazing work ethic, talent and skills to use in different fields.
I'm currently seeking freelance writing work, as I continue to search for a job or consider training in an alternative field.
Meanwhile, I'll be using this site to blog about everything that comes to mind, whether that be life in Arlington, TX, getting healthy, life after weight loss surgery, finding good buys at a time when many of us are pinching pennies, being a 43-year-old BBW in the dating scene - and who knows what else.
Feel free to join in the discussion an time.
I am Stephanie Sandoval, reporter for The Dallas Morning News for more than 13 years, until I was laid off in April.
There, I covered primarily suburban cities, most notably Farmers Branch, Carrollton and Grand Prairie, though I also covered a wide range of other stories and issues.
Sadly, newspapers are on a downward spiral, and many of my colleagues around the country are also struggling to find ways to put our amazing work ethic, talent and skills to use in different fields.
I'm currently seeking freelance writing work, as I continue to search for a job or consider training in an alternative field.
Meanwhile, I'll be using this site to blog about everything that comes to mind, whether that be life in Arlington, TX, getting healthy, life after weight loss surgery, finding good buys at a time when many of us are pinching pennies, being a 43-year-old BBW in the dating scene - and who knows what else.
Feel free to join in the discussion an time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
